LateNightThoughts

[lifewithevan]

I told myself that I wouldn't post twice a day but I need to get my thoughts out. I'm terrified for my future. I'm trying to educate myself on investing and getting a good credit score and learning how to handle yourself in a job and how to handle money.

I'm still a student, haven't even done my final exams and I'm already panicking about this bullshit. It's stressful, the thought of having to survive alone in the real world when school has barely taught you anything and when you don't even know what you're going to do with your life because your afraid that your dreams aren't achievable and like what you're doing isn't enough.

And then you see all these people online saying "here's how I became a millionaire before I was 20" and you look at what they did and you're just like "that's not me!".

You try to do the research and the studying and practice budgeting all the while thinking "I should be enjoying this time of my life". And no one seems to understand or relate to you, no matter how hard you try and you just wish for something, literally anything, to make it the slightest bit easier! And the people around you who just don't seem to be trying as hard seem to have all their shit together!

And it's just like, what the fuck dude!

Signing off,

:(

Comments

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> I'm terrified for my future. <<

It's not a great time, but things could be worse.

>> I'm trying to educate myself on investing and getting a good credit score and learning how to handle yourself in a job and how to handle money.<<

Those are good goals. Banks and credit unions often have classes on those topics or know who does. Sometimes community centers do. Regrettably high schools have largely dropped all classes relating to life skills. Some colleges still have some, but usually just workshops or noncredit classes. An exception is entrepreneurship, if you're at all interested in running your own businesses; there's often a minor or series of classes on that which include much of what you mentioned above.

>> I'm still a student, haven't even done my final exams and I'm already panicking about this bullshit. <<

Few situations are so bad that panic can't make them a lot worse. Skills to maintain calm amidst chaos are useful in all walks of life. It's another thing often found at community centers. Occasionally a health center will have something concrete and useful. Some fitness centers have classes like yoga or meditation, but that's pricier.

>> It's stressful, the thought of having to survive alone in the real world <<

It's stressful, because humans aren't designed to live alone, but to live in family groups or somewhat larger troops. Life is easier when you have people you can rely on, whether that's advice or help moving a couch. Creating or strengthening a social network can lower stress and increase opportunities. It's well worth pursuing, but probably not when you're thinking about finals.

>> when school has barely taught you anything <<

That's a problem. Modern education is a lot about memorizing facts, which is barely useful in a time when information is easy to look up. You only need to memorize information that you'll be using all the time -- if you cook, knowing fractions is essential; if you garden, identifying plants and insects is essential; if you work in an office, you need to know layout of computer keyboards, etc.

The best way to handle this kind of skill gap is to figure out what you know and don't know, then make a plan to learn whatever you feel is most vital out of the missing parts -- financial skills, homemaking, yardwork, job skills, etc. Some community centers, libraries, or unemployment offices have various types of test for life skills.

>> and when you don't even know what you're going to do with your life because your afraid that your dreams aren't achievable and like what you're doing isn't enough. <<

That's a common issue. Only a minority of people know what they want to do early on and head right for it. As for dreams, some are more achievable than others. But you never know what will turn out. I make a majority of my money by writing poetry, an outcome predicted by exactly nobody. Writing was a plan, but I would've expected fiction or nonfiction to prove more popular. You do need to be willing to adapt and pounce of opportunities even if they are unexpected.

>> And then you see all these people online saying "here's how I became a millionaire before I was 20" and you look at what they did and you're just like "that's not me!". <<

Most of that is hype. Most of what is not hype will involve either inadvisable (e.g. working 60-hour weeks) or unethical (e.g. stealing other people's work) methods.

>> You try to do the research and the studying and practice budgeting all the while thinking "I should be enjoying this time of my life". <<

The sad fact is that young adulthood is a lot less fun and a lot more stressful than it used to be. Many of the former resources are now gone, and people don't account for that. Frex, it used to be quite feasible to work a job and put yourself through college that way. Not only was college much more affordable 50-60 years ago, both college and job would normally adjust to help a student succeed at both.

>> And no one seems to understand or relate to you,<<

That sucks.

>> no matter how hard you try and you just wish for something, literally anything, to make it the slightest bit easier! <<

There often are ways to make things easier, but they are not always obvious, and it's hard to streamline things when you have too much to do already and may not have enough control over your life. Often you just have to chip at the edges and try to create moments of calm.

* Some people use a capsule wardrobe or personal uniform to minimize wasting time and attention on what to wear. If everything matches, all you have to think about is what the weather will be and where you're going.

* A kitchen can similarly be set up to minimize expenditures of time and energy.

* Cognitive offloading is your friend. Anything that can be moved from your head to a tool will help. Frex, I keep a timer on my desk so I don't waste attention on remembering when to check the oven or do some other task.

* In the not obvious category: sometimes it is absolutely worth spending more money on a product that will make your life easier. A good calendar or planner. A desktop organizer. A secure gate latch. A blender that will liquefy whatever food your put in it.

* LifeHack often has helpful articles that save time and energy.

>> And the people around you who just don't seem to be trying as hard seem to have all their shit together! <<

Sometimes this is literally true, if one is missing a key piece of standard human wetware. If you are low on executive function or face recognition or you have dyslexia, then it is easier for other people.

Other times, it only seems to be true. People usually try to put their best face forward. Inside, many of them are just as exhausted and confused as you are.

Some people are naturally calm. Others have cultivated equanimity as an enlightenment skill or nonanxious presence as a spiritual skill. If you find one, observe and see what you can learn from them.

Check if your school or neighborhood has any places that people use as a quiet refuge. It might be a library, study room, coffeehouse, or whatever. On my campus, some of us used the Quaker Meetinghouse! It was open to everyone as long as you were quiet, and it was so embedded with calm that it would soothe most upsets just by sitting quietly for a while.

I hope things work out for you.

Re: Thoughts

[lifewithevan]

I didn't think anyone read this. Thank you. It means a lot.

:)