lifewithevan | Recent Entries

So, I passed all my GCSEs and I'm heading to college in a week. I'm currently job searching and have sent in multiple job applications today. I got 5s, 6s and 7s in my GCSEs. The grade boundaries were an absolute joke. It's insane. I'm really excited for college!

I also completed and delivered a cake for my slowly developing business. It was a three tiered carrot cake with cream cheese frosting (sounds so American lol).

This is going to be a short post because I need to go hang out the laundry and walk the dog.

Sincerely Me,

Evan

:)

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: Somewhere only we know - Keane

I've got 17 days till results day, the grand reveal. The summer has been chaotic. I'm not sure I'll be able to do everything on my wish list for the summer but I've still had fun. I've hung out with my friends, my mum, my dad as well as my step-mum, my baby sister and my irritating little brother.

I'm really excited for college, I'm hoping to become more open to hobbies, sports and other things. I'm obviously going to get a job so my schedule is going to be more packed than my mother's freezer.

I turned sixteen last week and everyone's been acting like I suddenly became an adult. I know for a fact I have not, I am still childish as fuck.

Anyway, I have shit to do today so...

Sincerely Me :)

Current Mood: excited
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: the right side - Sammy Rash

I am nearing my GCSE period, first exam is on Thursday and it's my Psych one, ughhhhh!

My parents are literally being so kind and thoughtful, they said they're forcing me to take breaks and not revise everyday and I am now being completely banned from studying on Saturdays. It was a completely different conversation to what I was expecting, I full thought I'd have to start revising like pretty much non stop.

I'm feeling fairly confident about most of my exams, the only reason I'm so nervous is just because I hate spending extended periods in exam conditions. If it's too quiet, my brain takes it as an opportunity to completely destroy me.

I am so very excited I'm nearly finished with my school life in general, like oh my god, what the hell! Soon, I'll be at a college doing something I actually enjoy, in a place where you aren't judged or made fun of for actually having knowledge.

The summer is literally going to be the highlight of my year, I am forcing it. Because my holiday technically starts on the 16th of June, I'm pretty sure, I get the whole day off for father's day and my stepmom's renting a boat on a lake for both my dad and her dad (my grandad). I also need to find a gift for my dad so I'm going to search for something affordable now.

Sincerely Me,

:)

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: Ain't it fun - Paramore

So on Tuesday I had my taster session at my new school and it was so amazing! Turns out, in college, people don't make fun of you for actually having knowledge about the course you're studying.

Because I'm doing Level 2 Professional Cookery, we got shown around the kitchen and asked questions about cooking and chopping styles, how to do certain things like pickling. Then we got to cook a stir fry, a very basic recipe with just some beef, vegetables and rice noodles but we did get to make our own prawn crackers which was really fun.

I also made a couple of friends. One, I'll call her Pink, was really sweet and funny. She's a vegetarian, which I admire, because I could never give up pork sausages and doner kebabs. Another one, we'll call him 3, is a really funny guy who's actually going to be taking the same course as me, he's just as sarcastic as me so I enjoyed our interactions. The finally one, we'll call him G, is probably the one I know the most since we texted a bit and Facetimed since the taster session. He's very energetic, a gym rat and gamer and just funny in general.

I'm really looking forward to college now!

Sincerely Me,

:)

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: FEVER DREAM - Alex Warren

I feel really burnt out. Like constantly exhausted and my stress levels are skyrocketing. My GCSEs are getting closer and I feel like the entire weight of my future is balancing on my shoulders. I think it's also taking a physical effect on me.

Yesterday I tried to go to town to revise with my friends but everywhere just didn't work. The library was full of uni students and community classes, we tried outside but there was a wasps nest near us and we kept getting talked to by people asking for money. Then we tried Waterstones cafe, which worked for a couple minutes but then we got kicked out for not buying anything, but we all think we got complained about by a old man at a table near us.

It was still fun that we all got to hang out though. My business isn't working and I'm trying to find other things to put on my CV but there's not much you can do when your 15.

Sincerely Me,

:)

Current Mood: stressed
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: When will I see you again - Shakka

Today, I'm going out with my friends to the city library to study together. One of my friends, I'll call her Red for now, she finds it hard to study at home and now she's worried about failing her GCSEs so I offered to come with her to local library and we decided to invite some of our other friends.

Next week, I've got a "taster session" thing at the college I'm going to in September, to see what it'll be like when I do my course. I'm really, really anxious but I've asked one of my friends to walk with me since they live near the college anyway.

I feel really tired, I struggled to get out of bed this morning, not because of depression or anything, just plain old tiredness.

Week after next, my parents are leaving me home alone for two days to go to a friends wedding. I know for a fact I'll be okay and while I will miss it, I'm kind of sad they can't leave the dog with me too.

Sincerely me,

:)

Current Mood: drained
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: Homewrecker - Sombr

I did say I would share what my summer plans are. So, the day after prom, I'm heading to my hometown with my mum on the train, which takes about 5 fucking hours, Jesus Christ!

I wanted to do this since it'll be my first birthday I'll be celebrating with my mum, plus it's my "sweet sixteen" or whatever. I also really want to see my old friends a lot.

We have a lot of ideas of what to do, one of which is staying up in a random field and watching the sunset together. We also want to go to all the markets, I think there's three a week in the town square on Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays.

I also can't wait to see my dogs, I miss them a lot.

Also, in my hometown, they have this super cool old style bookstore, of which there are only 4 in the entirety of the UK!

Sincerely, Me

:)

Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: Peace Sign - Kenshi Yonezu

Once again, I haven't been on here in a while.

GCSEs are still stressful but I'm more secure in the fact that I'm going to pass. I've started revising six hours a day, which sucks because obviously it's boring but you got to do what you got to do.

I've started a dog walking business because I need more shit to put on my CV when I get a job in the summer. I have two secure ideas of places I'd like to go, one is my local Waterstones and the other is a little tea room about 10 minutes away from my house. I've yet to have any customers but, fingers crossed, right?

I also started watching MHA (My Hero Academia) and I literally love it, I am so obsessed. Like, sure it's a bit cringey at the beginning but I seriously don't care, the levels of comfort it brings me is amazing.

I'm a bit behind on my reading and writing because I'm studying so much but I'll get back to it in the summer.

This summer is going to be amazing. I'll finally be turning sixteen and I'm spending 2 and a bit weeks with my mum in the town I grew up in so I can see all my old friends, I've never been so excited. I'll share my summer bucket list in the next post, I need to go fold my laundry and get in the shower.

Thanks for reading this if you did.

Sincerely, Me

:)

Current Mood: busy
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: Misery Business - Paramore

I haven't posted on here for a while. I've been dealing with a lot of shit at home and have barely had any mental energy to complete my normal tasks, let alone extra stuff. GCSEs are exhausting.

Thank God it's half term. And I'm very happy because yesterday my grandma asked me to be her bridesmaid yesterday by giving me a gift bag full of gorgeous personalised bridesmaid stuff: a hanger with a red bow on it with my name and the word bridesmaid on it, red slippers with the same thing on, a gorgeous necklace, two hair scrunchies and a pen.

The wedding is in December and she's making it Christmas themed so the colour scheme is red, green and gold and all the bridesmaids are wearing cherry red. So me, my two cousins and my baby sister. And I'll be carrying my baby sister down the aisle on my hip.

The wedding is also in a gorgeous castle, like fairytale core! I'm really excited.

Today we're celebrating my brother's birthday by going out to do laser tag, so I need to go and get ready.

Thanks for reading this if you did,

Sincerely,

Me :)

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: Good Riddance (Time of your life) - Green Day

Hi. I'm Evan. I am 15, five months away from my GCSEs. I am a very anxious person with a shit ton of emotional baggage and trauma. I read a lot and I love my noise cancelling headphones more than Nutella. I over plan, have trust issues and tend to get attached way too easily.

I have a complex family life but in general I'm pretty okay. I hope having this blog makes me less overwhelmed by my emotions.

I want to be a freelance for-hire chef and plan to go to culinary school in September.

Sincerely,

:)

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: My bedroom
Current Music: Supermassive Black Hole - Muse